Day 8 Blog

Day 8 Blog
The Struggle to Lead an Authentic Life
It is everybody’s dream to live an authentic life. An authentic life is a life where you can do what you want and be who you are. Living an authentic life is not an easy thing to do as it is demonstrated in today’s readings. The characters in each reading today struggle with their innermost self, each knowing who they want to be, however, struggling to get there.
In Eliot’s, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”, a man, Prufrock, struggles to be his true self. The poem starts of talking about the city that Prufrock lives in. He describes it as “half-deserted streets...restless nights in one-night cheap hotels…and sawdust restaurants.” The way he describes the city is as though his surroundings are lonely and dull. He talks of nothing glamorous, and there is nothing around that appeal to his desires. He mentions how “in the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo.” Michelangelo is this powerful statue that is beautiful and confident. He is completely naked showing that he is proud of what he has to offer. This phrase is a recurring phrase in the poem which shows it has some effect on Prufrock. The effect that it has is evident in the next stanza of the poem when Prufrock talks of a house with “yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes.” In this house there is a gathering of women. He desires to enter but fights himself in wanting to. He reasons that “there will be time, there will be time” meaning that one day he will get the courage to go and talk to these women. However, when that time comes he asks himself, “’Do I dare?’” His self-consciousness becomes evident when he talks about “a bald spot in the middle of my hair.” He worries that the women will talk about him and say “’How his hair is growing thin!’” This man has a lot of stress and worry in his life. The man goes on to say how he is afraid of being inspected under the “sprawling on a pin.” Prufrock then says, “’I should have been a pair of ragged claws.’” I think that this possibly means that he wishes he had more strength. It is almost harmful to himself to think this. By saying this, he is admitting he is a weak person and wishing for more strength. The rest of the poem, Prufrock goes on in nervousness talking about all his desires with a woman, but he questions every single one of them. For example, he says, “Would it have been worth it, after all after the cups of marmalade, the tea, among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me.” When and if he does get a date with a lady, he must enjoy himself, and he must not destroy the date with his petty worries. Near the end, he talks of Prince Hamlet? Why does he say “No! I am not Prince Hamlet.”? Is Prince Hamlet someone he wishes he could be because Hamlet is good with the ladies? I never read “Hamlet”, so I do not know. The poem ends with Prufrock saying, “I grow old…I grow old.” This makes it seem that Prufrock is getting older, and he still has not changed. He still worries of his appearance, and he says “Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers.” This is a depressing poem of a man so self-conscious of everything about himself. He lets his anxiety and low self-esteem get in the way of living his authentic life. He worries too much about what people think of himself. He needs to have confidence in who he is, and others will then have confidence in him. All Prufrock desires is to be loved. He wants a woman that will love him that way that he would love her; however, he worries too much about his appearance and time. Time is not on his side. He is getting older and losing more hair. Prufrock just needs to take a risk. Talk to a woman. Let her get to know you and like you for who you are.
After listening to Ginsberg’s, “Howl”, I was deeply disturbed. First off, the images that he describes are disgusting, and the way he spoke on the youtube video was creepy beyond belief. When I think of the word “howl”, I think of animals howling to the sky. This poem reminds me of animals. The things that the people did in this poem is absolutely animal like and disgusting. These images did not sit well with me. The most bizarre image to me was when he described people “who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism.” This is so immature and disrespectful. Also, another thing I noticed that there is no sentence form to this poem whatsoever. So many lines begin with “who” and these lines contain sentences, or thoughts rather, that run together. For example, “who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alleyways & firetrucks, not even one free beer.” There are so many thoughts going on in this stanza. In this poem, Ginsberg speaks of women, sex, drugs, and alcohol. He says ,”with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol” talking about all the things taken to lead up to crazy events in these addicts lives. What I got from the poem is that conformity, not being your authentic self, and politics are driving the “best minds of [his] generation” mad--“starving, hysterical, naked.” There are just some people who do not want to conform to society, and they will do some pretty crazy things to let people know that. When these people deviate from the norms of society, they become even more obscure, they get involved in even more drugs, alcohol, and sex. I believe that after these people deviate from society, they are not only hurting themselves, but they are hurting others. All these drugs are not good for them, but most importantly, the way they act has repercussions. Others have to go in and take care of the mess they have made such as “vomiting…stolen night-cars… potato salad.” These are just a few examples of the mess they made.
After reading the two poems for today, I believe that there is hope for those talked about in “Howl” to live an authentic life, but I do not believe that there is hope for Prufrock to live an authentic life. I believe that those in “Howl” will live an authentic life because they are doing what they want to do. By engaging in drugs, they are free. These individuals are not conforming to society; they are being who their true self is. I do not agree with the way they are doing it and rebelling. It seems to me a little extreme. However, whatever keeps them going. I believe that there is no hope for Prufrock because simply the man has too much anxiety and no self-confidence. It is evident from the poem that some time has taken place throughout the poem, and the man has not changed one bit. If he does not change during the course of the poem, he most likely won’t change after.